The ADD Business Owner

Tell Me I Can't Do It, Then Watch Me

Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Work Week, is not paying me to sing his praises. I swear. But I can't help it, I just love this guy.

Yesterday on Tim's blog, he posted about his goal of beating the odds and making the book a best seller. Everyone in the publishing industry told him he couldn't do it and that he should get his expectations in check. This skepticism only fueled his fire to succeed. The book recently made it to the number 1 spot on the New York Times Best Seller List.

It's this kind of tenacity that I see so often in self-employed adults with ADD, myself included. I love nothing more than a person who knows they can achieve a goal, and tells all the naysayers to eff off.

I remember when I first quit my corporate job to become a coach. I had been doing it part time for a little bit, and had been meeting monthly with a small mastermind group of women coaches in New York City. (None were ADD coaches.) They all had businesses that were just slightly more established. At one meeting, I asked "How long does it take to pay the bills with coaching? I'm not talking about getting rich. I just want to know when I'll be able to stop digging into my savings."

The room got very quiet. Finally, one of the women smiled at me (rather condescendingly) and said softly "Oh honey, it's going to take a long time. You might want to get another job because you probably won't be able to pay the bills coaching." The other heads around the table nodded quietly.

I was crushed. Devastated. This group was here to support me, and here they were discouraging me!

I wanted to cry, but I was too pissed to cry. I knew what I was doing! I did my research before making my decision - it wasn't like I jumped into coaching blindly! Who were they to tell me that I couldn't do it? Right then and there, I said to myself "You can't make a living coaching? Oh yeah? Watch me!"

I never went to another meeting with that group. And their discouragement actually fueled my fire for a couple of years. I knew I could do it. Telling me I couldn't only made me want to succeed even more.

What I have since realized is that people who raise an eyebrow to your big dreams do so because they know that most people could not achieve the goal - including themselves.

Those coaches weren't thinking about what I was capable of, they were thinking about what they were capable of. Tim Ferriss' contacts in the publishing world weren't think about what he was capable of, they were thinking about what other authors were capable of.  In reality, there's no comparison.

This is one of the reasons that I love working with ADD business owners and overachievers. Their drive to succeed in the face of adversity is inspiring. And being along for the ride is fun.

Do you have a story about overcoming the odds and succeeding when no one thought you could? I'd love to hear it! Please share your stories in the comments field.
       

The 4-Hour Work Night

Erin: Honey, what were you doing up so late last night?

Me: Well, I was reading my book, which inspired me to work on my own book. And then as long as I was at the computer I figured I'd knock out a couple of projects.

Erin: So much for the 4-hour work week.

I tried.

Actually, I really do like this book a lot. And I am even more convinced that Tim Ferriss is on our ADD team. The trouble is that this book excites me, which sends me into hyperfocus mode.

Honestly, I don't know that I could ever limit myself to 4 hours working per week. (Then again, who knows?)  But I think there are some fabulous ideas here - especially about outsourcing.

I currently use a Virtual Assistant, and I've begin asking myself What else can I outsource?  The answer I keep coming up with is: personal crap!

I've got about 3000 doctors appointments I need to make over the summer. I dread it...so why do it? Why not give the numbers and my schedule to an assistant and let someone else book those appointments for me?

I also HATE coordinating with our house builder about the couple of things that still need to be fixed. So why do it? Why not let someone else coordinate?

And how about fighting with Sprint, my cell phone company?  Erin fights with them constantly. (She does it because she knows I might go psycho if I had to.) But why not let someone else fight with them and report back when the problem is resolved?

Sure, this stuff costs money to hire out. But I'm already feeling more relaxed just thinking about hiring a personal assistant. And, going by Tim Ferriss' advice, money can be saved by outsourcing overseas.

Of course, like a good little ADDer who jumps on hot ideas, I've already put the wheels in motion. I'll post an update soon.

For now, I'd like to know: Are you outsourcing? Do you have a Virtual Assistant? What difference does it make to your business? What affect does it have on your stress levels? Please share your experiences in the comments field.

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The 4-Hour Work Week: Everyone Else Is Doing It...

One of the prevailing topics at my Master Mind meeting last month was the new book The 4-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss.

I'm sure you've heard of it, as I don't think I've ever seen such a buzz on a business book before. And yes, although the book isn't specifically geared towards business owners, that is certainly whom I think will benefit most from it.

I resisted this book for a while. If everybody else is doing it, I kinda don't want to. But then I started to feel a little left out... so I went to B&N tonight to grab a copy. I'm 38 pages in and all I can say is...WOW.

Everyone is jumping on this little book that's all about how not to be like everyone else. And for that, of course, I love it.

I'll do a full review next week. For now, I'd like to make just a couple of points.

1. I think Timothy Ferriss has ADD. He is admittedly hyperactive, easily bored, and is clearly a born entrepreneur. (Then again, I tend to like to claim smart, entrepreneurial, maverick-types for our ADD team. So it could be wishful thinking...)
2. I absolutely love his style. I heard an interview with Timothy Ferriss a couple of weeks ago and didn't like him at all. Yet, I really connect with his words and ideas. He's got that "break the rules" attitude that I am so fond of. He's funny. And he's not afraid to swear, which I also love. (I thought about swearing just for the sake of it right here in this sentence, but that would just seem too forced, no?)
3. This book is helping me fill a few empty spaces. It's not about acquiring money in the bank accounts - it's about living the lifestyle NOW that you think you'd live if you had a ton of money in the bank. (I'm all for it. Vacation home in Cape Cod, here I come.)

Even though I'm only two chapters into The 4-Hour Work Week, I feel very comfortable recommending it to ADD business owners.

And if you've already read it, then I want to know what you think! Share your thoughts in the comments field.

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Words of Wisdom: What Only You Can Provide

Note: A similar post with a different quote is located at Experiencing ADDvantages, my other blog.

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the death of Jeff Buckley, one of my favorite musicians. "Favorite" is putting it lightly, actually. I can zone out and listen to this man's voice for hours, and be completely transformed in the process.

I have no idea if Jeff Buckley had ADD, and I suspect he would have been completely apathetic about it if he did. I also doubt that he cared very much about the business end of his music.

Nevertheless, I found this quote today that applies to art, business, and the art of business. In honor of one of the greatest singers to ever live and die way too young, take this in:

"The only way to really make it—anywhere—is to put every bit of your being into the thing that only you can provide. The only angle is the art that you choose, that only you can provide.

And to do that, you have to be quiet for a long time and find out what you bring forth. You have to know what's in yourself—all your eccentricities, all your banalities, the full flavor of your woe and your joy. What does it look like? What does it feel like? What makes it different from everybody else's? It's totally subjective. You're just given the task of bringing it up."

-Jeff Buckley

Listen to Jeff Buckley's "Lover, You Should Have Come Over" courtesy of sand is overrated.

Where's Waldo?

One thing I love about working with successful ADD business owners is that they rarely ever do things "by the book."  Creative innovation seems to be the most popular tool for success.

My friend and Master Mind colleague Paul Copcutt talked about this concept in the realm of personal branding on his blog today:

"Personal branding is about demonstrating your unique value to a hiring manager, boss, prospective client etc etc - if you are too much the same as your peers and competitors then you might not be standing out enough to get noticed."

I've got a great example of an ADDer who really stands out and runs a successful business because of it.  A client of mine was pitching her consulting services to a large company whose CFO was visibly skeptical. She told this noisy CFO to "zip it" until the sales pitch was over. The CFO had a reputation for being difficult, but he loved the fact that someone was willing to stand up to him. (A woman, no less!) He took an immediate liking to her and rewarded her with a huge consulting job.

On the other hand, the most unsuccessful ADD business owners I've worked with are the ones who try to blend in with everyone else.

Do you stand out in your field, or are you getting lost in the crowd?

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Fraudulent Charges

In the past couple of weeks I wrote down three quotes from ADD business owners:

"Everyone thinks I'm making so much money in my real estate business. Sure, it's doing well, but if they knew how much I really make... I wouldn't want to know what they would think of me."

"I preach to my clients about time management and then I forget my appointments. Why would anyone want to hire me?"

"I'm the last person that anyone would guess has ADD. I'm strong, smart, and I built a great company. But underneath it all I feel like a fraud."

So many successful adults with ADD feel like frauds. I admit it: sometimes I do, too.

One could argue a number of reasons as to why this is so common. My best guess is that we tend to be extremely hard on ourselves. No matter what you do, you could be doing it better. No matter how much you do, you could be doing more. It might be good enough for everyone else, but it's never good enough for you.

As a business owner, you got to where you are today by holding yourself to high standards. That's who you are, and it's worked to your advantage.

But when the standards become impossible and you have to get it right on the first try, you're not allowed to screw up, and you have to be THE best, then those standards are no longer serving you, they're defeating you.

You won't always get it right the first try. You will screw up. And you won't always be the best. So if you tell yourself the opposite, and can't attain these impossible feats, then of course you'll feel like a fraud.

Holding yourself to high standards is great, but you have to have compassion, patience, and forgiveness for yourself, too. Otherwise, those fraudulent feelings will creep up and pull you down.

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Failure: The Best Lesson I Ever Learned

When I was new to the coaching field, I often heard people say "there is no such thing as failure. Everything is a learning experience."

I didn't buy it. In my view, losers failed. Winners did not even entertain the idea of failure.

Early on in my coaching career I decided to put together a 90-day group coaching program designed to teach the Essential Skills. I was really excited about it because I knew that it would be a win-win for everyone. Most clients enjoy being part of a group of peers (just as I do). The group dynamics often carry the individuals further than a private coaching experience does. And the group coaching would allow me to leverage my time better.

At the time that I was preparing for the group, I was renting a small office one day a week in New York City.  I saw a few clients privately and ran a few support groups. I invited those clients to join the group. I put fliers my office waiting room and gave some to all the mental health professionals I knew. I had the group added to local events guides. And, of course, I announced the event multiple times to my newsletter subscribers. But no one was signing up.

A couple of weeks before the group was scheduled to start, I was freaking out. I spoke to my Business Coach at the time, Chris Barrow of The Dental Business School, and told him what was going on. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to make this group thing work, even though I really wanted to.

In a 15-minute conversation, I got the best lesson of my life. The conversation went something like this...

Chris said to me "...so you keep promoting the group, and if you fail-"

"Whoa, Chris, hang on!" I interrupted him. "The word "fail" is not in my vocabulary. I don't fail."

Chris didn't skip a beat. "Well you will fail. And you better get used to it, because it will happen a lot." My forehead was crinkling on the other end of the phone. I did not like what I heard.

"And when you do fail," he continued in a very matter-of-fact tone. "You will get right back up. You'll do what you can to figure out what you did wrong, and then you'll be one step closer to success."

I was resistant to this idea at first, but once that seed was planted, everything changed. I actually added the word "fail" to my vocabulary, and I stopped thinking about it as a bad thing.  I stopped being afraid of it.

And once I stopped being afraid of failure, suddenly nothing was impossible. I felt like I had permission to put myself out there, in a big way, because if it didn't work, then it didn't work. So what?

I started to see failure as something that happened to everyone, not an indicator that I sucked at what I was doing. And I don't just rely on this knowledge anymore, I live by it.

If you want to manage ADD - in your business and in your life - you have to be happy.
If you want to be happy, you have to live out loud.
In you want to live out lout, you've gotta take risks.
And if you're gonna take risks, you can't be afraid to fail.

Incidentally, I ended up with 5 people in that coaching group. And my current coaching programs are still based on that very first one.

Some People...

Last week I sent out my regular issue of The ADD Management Guide eNewsletter.  It contained an article about why adults with ADD tend to lose things so often, some coaching exercises, an introduction of our new Associate Coach, and an offer to join our Silver Coaching Program.

Lots of value, an update, and yes, a "sales pitch."

I received tons of feedback.  The article went over well and seven people responded to tell me how much they enjoyed it! One person wrote a nasty email, however, and I suppose it's human nature to let something like that bug me.  This is what the email said:

Hello jen , your emails are nice and informative ..... but I am so sick of being bombarded with everyone whom wants to sell me something , and now you - the bank where I deposit my paycheck- I do have a kickass job -  the constant signage, the commercials on TV -

99% is BS,  better deals are to be found elsewhere and I can build better stuff than I can buy usually

I realise you are in this for the buck rather than truly helping folks - I mean my very expensive shrink would be less in a years time . I question your credentials for charging so much 

SO....... Any futher pitches for for moneys and your address will go into the spam folder

have a great weekend   

Despite the fact that much of it didn't even make sense, I got the point.  So here is my response, piece by piece, just because it will make ME feel better.

"your emails are nice and informative ..... but I am so sick of being bombarded with everyone whom wants to sell me something , and now you"

Yes, I am trying to sell something - my services.  And in exchange for the occasional "join our coaching programs" message, I provide a FREE newsletter that offers practical information, tips, and strategies.  I think that's more than fair.

"I realise you are in this for the buck rather than truly helping folks"

Wow! What a big assumption to make.  Actually, I would be making about three times more than I do now if I had stayed in Corporate America.

"I mean my very expensive shrink would be less in a years time . I question your credentials for charging so much"

You get what you pay for.

And besides that, we offer three different levels of coaching plans so that we can reach people within all budgets.  And we've put a great deal of time and effort into providing value that well exceeds our service fees.

"SO....... Any futher pitches for for moneys and your address will go into the spam folder"

First of all, he opted in to receive the newsletter.  Second, I think that all the content I provide FREE is worth the occasional "sales pitch" for coaching programs that I truly believe in. But if this person doesn't agree, then that's his prerogative. I'm not offended if he unsubscribes.  I subscribe and unsubscribe to newsletters all the time.

What I do take offense to is the threat: If I get one more sales pitch you're going in my spam folder.

A friendly email expressing his concerns would have gone over much better with me.   I would have thanked him for the feedback!  But that is not what he chose to do, so I took the liberty of unsubscribing this person myself.

I know this post may even seem a bit out of character for me, but I find myself tolerating less and less these days, and feeling the need to be more vocal than usual.  This is a good thing for me.  (Not that I ever had a problem speaking up, mind you, but this feels different.)

I am fortunate enough to make a living while making a difference, and if someone chooses to see negativity where there is really good stuff, then that sucks for him.

Hmmm.... I feel better already!
:)

Bigger Than Me

Next week I am interviewing my final Associate Coach candidates! My goal is to have an Associate Coach signed on by March 1.

It's an exciting time for me as the coaching company that I have created is about to become bigger - much bigger - than me. As we add to the team, we increase the number of clients we can service and the amount of positive energy we put out into the world.

In this process I've been working with my friend and Master Mind colleague Jayme Dill Broudy of Pinnacle Consulting Group, who has been helping me craft amazing company materials (like job descriptions and procedures manuals) and guiding me through this process.

I very happily retreat into this weekend with the knowledge that the ADD Management Group is entering into an exciting new phase.